The double bench effect. Using the table as bench and bench as footstool.
I knew Jo when her world was a sad and broken thing. Her curly hair was cut too short – not short enough either. In the middle. Unflattering and a symbol of compliance and despair which I had once worn myself. She wasn’t a woman I took to naturally. I thought her arrogant and big and loud and did my best to ignore her and wait for her to drift out of my life.
She did that for a time, Out onto the fringes. One day she called me and asked me to help her. Now that was something I didn’t want to do but I had seen a situation unfolding in which she had been hurt and treated poorly. She cried a lot through that time and laughed a lot as well. I don’t do either easily. She listened and struggled with concepts which were new to her and she had, and presumably still does, a staunch loyalty to the people in her life. I am not particularly good at that.
We had the peculiar, intimate relationship that the accelerated maturation of Recovery can sometimes demand and insist upon. There isn’t always time or liberty to rebuild at leisure when the winds are still blowing and the cyclones are preparing to turn and come at you from the other side. So we formed a shelter for her and hers and before long she was strong on her legs and standing proud and tall.
A few years later I picked her up from Tweed Heads Coach Stop as she came in from Cairns and she looked like a tropical princess. The Hair wild and free and her skin browned.
That was after she had stood behind me as backbone during the years of my parents’ passings and all the wild traumas that came my way in the early 2000s.
I went to the Gold Coast and she followed and gradually we drifted into our own lives – a good and proper thing.
I am home from the Gold Coast now and she is still there. When I think of her, I smile. And see myself leaning on the wall of her Grandmother’s brick garage while awaiting the death of my own mother – and saying – “ I just can’t cope.” Not many people I can say that to.
No snowflake ever falls in the wrong place. Zen.
Today is sunny and warm and dry here in Raleigh at the Workers’ Cottage. I enter into this topic with almost no desperation and no great desire to seek the ‘correct answer’ to it or any answer at all. There have been times in my life where it was imperative that I seek and locate the reason for EVERYTHING. It doesn’t seem to be like that anymore. I do not know whether there is a reason or not. I’m not even troubled by that.
I said to American Suzzi from Murwillumbah once : “ I know next to nothing. “And she said that knowing next to nothing was a very good thing. “Next to nothing is everything.”
Where I am in my life at this time is a far more pleasant place to be than having to see a Reason for each thing happening to me in order to simply not lose my mind entirely. Sanity back then in the 1980s was a moment by moment process of clinging to Reasons.
I do enjoy it when I come across a seeming reason for something. Well then , says I. So that’s what that was about. So, that’s the reason why !
I shall take a look around the Ether and see what other viewpoints there are and do one of my lazy linking posts.
Rolheiser – one of my favourite Catholics. I was raised in relaxed Methodism and Catholics were a species apart but I have found them to be remarkably intelligent in many areas. Greetings, Catholics.
Bob Earle, a speaker in Alcoholics Anonymous, speaks of nothing being wasted in God’s Good Universe – nothing at all.
“I believe that everything happens for a reason. People change so that you can learn to let go, things go wrong so that you appreciate them when they’re right, you believe lies so you eventually learn to trust no one but yourself, and sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together.”
Recognize that nothing can hold you back from what you want; G-d has infinite ways of making things happen. G-d is One:Everything that happens in my life (blessings, ordeals, pleasure, pain, success and failure) comes from G-d, (an infinite being who is all knowing, all loving, and has infinite wisdom) for ultimately one purpose – the fulfillment of G-d’s loving vision for me and the world; and anything that may happen is for a reason and ultimately for a benefit.
Example: When things go wrong, being able to say “I get it, it’s not me, it’s You, G-d, and this is for the best”. A response such as this enables inner peace, even though you are not happy about the results. Recognizing that there is an all knowing power that is the only source that can truly affect you in terms of your wellbeing and your purpose. G-d has your best interest in mind, even if you do not understand it.
A little Islam : A story is told about a King in Africa who had a close friend that he grew up with. The friend had a habit of looking at every situation that ever occurred in his life (positive or negative) by remarking, “This is good, Allah Almighty knows best”
And as for me, a big fluffy kookaburra just landed on the front lawn which was mown just yesterday. The mosaic of my life is looking rather fine just at this moment. Sometimes the little pieces and even the big pieces have to be broken in order to fit in to the Divine Mosaic and sometimes life just has to find a place for the broken bits.
NO SNOWFLAKE EVER FALLS IN RALEIGH.