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With my newly acquired bench on the front verandah, I have been considering even more uses for benches. I am looking at it as a meditation place as well. So, I am taking a look back through the Pics and  I have come across the sleeping bench that Doug B and I made for Kati B in Bilambil where I was short of sleeping places. Doug did some drilling and prop making and we located a single door and popped my spare mattress on to it and there was the laundry converted in a moment.

Much better than the mattress on the floor where my ex-husband once woke with a dead mouse near his head.



I shall look for Autumn. How has it looked as it has entered my years ?

My joints know its not Springtime again.

Autumn comes in gently in the places where I live. Hmmm. Inasmuch as it isn’t heralding snow or ice up here on the North  Coast of NSW. This year it has arrived with some dramatic  effects in death and storming and heat.

MARCH 2005.  
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Laughing and lightly clothed up on the Queensland border.

the joints know that I am now grandmother

MARCH 2006.  
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Autumn in the sub tropics  with palm trees and ferns.

the joints know that the days of sailing in FNQ are long gone

MARCH 2007.  
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Autumn coming in on Mists in Bilambil at the Cottage on the Hill.

the joints know that peace and wisdom thrive in the beauty of the misted world

MARCH 2008.  
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Autumn didn’t stop the regular Saturday night at Jamieson’s in West Tweed Heads.

the joints know that its time to dance

MARCH 2009  

Autumn at Mooball on the Tweed.

the joints know its time to play

MARCH 2010  
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Autumn down South at Wollongong.

my joints know that its time to travel and explore



MARCH 2011  

Autumn came in at 40 degrees C . Hot and then storming.

the joints know that its time to swim

15 Styles of Distorted Thinking 1 Filtering You…

15 Styles of Distorted Thinking

1. Filtering: You take the negative details and magnify them, while filtering out all positive aspects of a situation. A single detail may be picked out, and the whole event becomes colored by this detail. When you pull negative things out of context, isolated from all the good experiences around you, you make them larger and more awful than they really are.
2. Polarized Thinking: The hallmark of this distortion is an insistence on dichotomous choices. Things are black or white, good or bad. You tend to perceive everything at the extremes, with very little room for a middle ground. The greatest danger in polarized thinking is its impact on how you judge yourself. For example-You have to be perfect or you’re a failure.
3. Overgeneralization: You come to a general conclusion based on a single incident or piece of evidence. If something bad happens once, you expect it to happen over and over again. ‘Always’ and ‘never’ are cues that this style of thinking is being utilized. This distortion can lead to a restricted life, as you avoid future failures based on the single incident or event.
4. Mind Reading: Without their saying so, you know what people are feeling and why they act the way they do. In particular, you are able to divine how people are feeling toward you. Mind reading depends on a process called projection. You imagine that people feel the same way you do and react to things the same way you do. Therefore, you don’t watch or listen carefully enough to notice that they are actually different. Mind readers jump to conclusions that are true for them, without checking whether they are true for the other person.
5. Catastrophizing: You expect disaster. You notice or hear about a problem and start “what if’s.” What if that happens to me? What if tragedy strikes? There are no limits to a really fertile catastrophic imagination. An underlying catalyst for this style of thinking is that you do not trust in yourself and your capacity to adapt to change.
6. Personalization: This is the tendency to relate everything around you to yourself. For example, thinking that everything people do or say is some kind of reaction to you. You also compare yourself to others, trying to determine who’s smarter, better looking, etc. The underlying assumption is that your worth is in question. You are therefore continually forced to test your value as a person by measuring yourself against others. If you come out better, you get a moment’s relief. If you come up short, you feel diminished. The basic thinking error is that you interpret each experience, each conversation, each look as a clue to your worth and value.
7. Control Fallacies: There are two ways you can distort your sense of power and control. If you feel externally controlled, you see yourself as helpless, a victim of fate. The fallacy of internal control has you responsible for the pain and happiness of everyone around you. Feeling externally controlled keeps you stuck. You don’t believe you can really affect the basic shape of your life, let alone make any difference in the world. The truth of the matter is that we are constantly making decisions, and that every decision affects our lives. On the other hand, the fallacy of internal control leaves you exhausted as you attempt to fill the needs of everyone around you, and feel responsible in doing so (and guilty when you cannot).
8. Fallacy of Fairness: You feel resentful because you think you know what’s fair, but other people won’t agree with you. Fairness is so conveniently defined, so temptingly self-serving, that each person gets locked into his or her own point of view. It is tempting to make assumptions about how things would change if people were only fair or really valued you. But the other person hardly ever sees it that way, and you end up causing yourself a lot of pain and an ever-growing resentment.
9. Blaming: You hold other people responsible for your pain, or take the other tack and blame yourself for every problem. Blaming often involves making someone else responsible for choices and decisions that are actually our own responsibility. In blame systems, you deny your right (and responsibility) to assert your needs, say no, or go elsewhere for what you want.
10. Shoulds: You have a list of ironclad rules about how you and other people should act. People who break the rules anger you, and you feel guilty if you violate the rules. The rules are right and indisputable and, as a result, you are often in the position of judging and finding fault (in yourself and in others). Cue words indicating the presence of this distortion are should, ought, and must.
11. Emotional Reasoning: You believe that what you feel must be true-automatically. If you feel stupid or boring, then you must be stupid and boring. If you feel guilty, then you must have done something wrong. The problem with emotional reasoning is that our emotions interact and correlate with our thinking process. Therefore, if you have distorted thoughts and beliefs, your emotions will reflect these distortions.
12. Fallacy of Change: You expect that other people will change to suit you if you just pressure or cajole them enough. You need to change people because your hopes for happiness seem to depend entirely on them. The truth is the only person you can really control or have much hope of changing is yourself. The underlying assumption of this thinking style is that your happiness depends on the actions of others. Your happiness actually depends on the thousands of large and small choices you make in your life.
13. Global Labeling: You generalize one or two qualities (in yourself or others) into a negative global judgment. Global labeling ignores all contrary evidence, creating a view of the world that can be stereotyped and one-dimensional. Labeling yourself can have a negative and insidious impact upon your self-esteem; while labeling others can lead to snap-judgments, relationship problems, and prejudice.
14. Being Right: You feel continually on trial to prove that your opinions and actions are correct. Being wrong is unthinkable and you will go to any length to demonstrate your rightness. Having to be ‘right’ often makes you hard of hearing. You aren’t interested in the possible veracity of a differing opinion, only in defending your own. Being right becomes more important than an honest and caring relationship.
15. Heaven’s Reward Fallacy: You expect all your sacrifice and self-denial to pay off, as if there were someone keeping score. You fell bitter when the reward doesn’t come as expected. The problem is that while you are always doing the ‘right thing,’ if your heart really isn’t in it, you are physically and emotionally depleting yourself.

*FromThoughts & Feelingsby McKay, Davis, & Fanning. New Harbinger, 1981. These styles of thinking (or cognitive distortions) were gleaned from the work of several authors, including Albert Ellis, Aaron Beck, and David Burns, among others.

*FromThoughts & Feelingsby McKay, Davis, & Fanning. New Harbinger, 1981. These styles of thinking (or cognitive distortions) were gleaned from the work of several authors, including Albert Ellis, Aaron Beck, and David Burns, among others.

MARCH 3 2011: Day No 62 : my joints know it’s not.

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the frangipani leaves plop…plop……plop,

a slight, uncertain drum beat for a

glancing Autumn

half the garden thinks it’s Spring again

my joints know it’s not

Gina Lakosta


“My joints know its not.”

My passion for Summer was only minimally satisfied this year and I am brought prematurely into Autumn, so it seems to me. My joints trouble me. My fingers are twisted and my knees are weakened. Not that that is much to do with the particular season we are in. I just didn’t expect to be crippled in the ways that I am.

Maybe for people like me, Autumn is always unexpected, feeling premature and arriving against a determined effort to hold it back. My joints know its not Spring again.

The streets of South Murwillumbah have aching joints too. Even Roger’s Mechanics was gone last time I was there. In South Grafton, they have just spent a lot of money repairing the joints. It was almost done when I left there a year back. Streetscaped, is what they call it. A new Spring ? Seasons coming round again ?  Soon, I will be going up there for a day to collect the remainder of our belongings from Storage. I shall take a look then.

In the meantime, my own joints fail me somewhat. They KNOW its not Springtime again. Once again, I face Autumn and try to develop a taste for it.