APRIL 25 2011 : Don’t stand in the sun if you’ve got butter on your head.

Original in Dutch or Twents: “Wie boter op zijn hoofd heeft moet niet in de zon gaan staan.”

Its ANZAC DAY and therefore a Public holiday here in NSW. It incorporates Easter this year as well as a cascade of familial birthdays. As for me, I am here on my eBench, in my pyjama pants and fully off duty. Just Yaaning. Just Yaaning. Today I am going to stuck with the DO NOT theme of the Dutch quote. I can already add:

DON’T TAKE A CLASS OF KIDS ON AN EASTER WALK WITH CHOCOLATE EGGS ON YOUR HEAD.

Now I shall take a look at Old Fotos and see what other good DO NOT advice I can give you as a Nana and Elderwoman.  I should probably add:

DON’T GET YOUR NANA TATTOO FROM THE SOUTH GRAFTON TATTOO PARLOUR FOR $10.

One thing that I like about this Dutch saying is that it doesn’t at all need to tell you WHY or WHAT the consequences of going out in the sun with butter on your head would be. Likewise shall I do. I will just give you some DON’Ts and you can work them out.

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DON’T WEAR YOUR DINNER NAPKIN ON YOUR HEAD.
063 DON’T GET PALSY OF YOUR CRANIAL NERVE. ESPECIALLY THE 6th CRANIAL NERVE.
225 DON’T EAT SAUSAGES ON STICKS.
334 DON’T LOOK FOR HATE WHERE THERE IS ONLY LOVE.

What other DO NOTs have I been told ? I shall try to think of 10.

  1. don’t stand behind a horse.
  2. don’t sit on an outside toilet without checking for red back spiders.
  3. don’t marry a man with less brains than you have.
  4. don’t wear rings because your fingers are too stumpy.
  5. don’t play the piano because your fingers are too stumpy.
  6. don’t grow your hair too long because your face can’t carry it.
  7. don’t go and live in Bellingen because you will use drugs and die.
  8. don’t leave 5 minutes before the miracle happens.
  9. don’t volunteer for anything.
  10. don’t ever ever play with spiritual things

Bonus Do NOT from Nana Bell to go with the warning about not fiddling with matters spiritual:

DO NOT GET YOUR HAIR CUT BY ANYONE  BUT A HAIRDRESSER OR IT WILL BLEED.

Izzy. Don’t think yourself so smart.

And now for some WORDS OF WISDOM.

Admonitions.

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