27 OCTOBER 2011 : STAYING PAST THE BOREDOM

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STAY PAST THE BOREDOM.

That’s what my brother told me years ago when I asked how he created the artworks he was making at that time.

YOU HAVE TO STAY PAST THE BOREDOM.

THE YAAN

We are again having grey, misty, moisty days. Way into Spring. My familiar restless boredom is again upon me. I just bleached the towels  and slept for hours in the afternoon. Boredom is upon me with the thin membrane lying between me and the next breakthrough. My life this year really fits the Terry Pratchett concept :

I THOUGHT IT WOULD BE DIFFERENT.

Nonetheless, I am staying PAST THE BOREDOM. In all areas for the moment. Because I am in doubt. Therefore I do NOTHING. Just wait a little longer. It would be nice if it were a case of not leaving 5 minutes before the miracle.Might be. Might not.  I am just staying past the boredom.

Wonder what its been like at this time of the year, in other years.

2005. Up on the Tweed River at Bilambil. I don’t recall being as bored as I am now. Mind you, I don’t think I am actually bored. I think I am grieving and coming to terms with areas of my life which are NOT working for me. The boredom is in not making the breakthrough in my thinking and emotions which would enable me to ACT. The Charade was still shining in 2005 and in the care of Murwillumbah Michael who maintained her, loved her and put Sai Baba stickers on her to keep her safe. Doug mowed the lawns and of a night I had a necklace of lights on the opposite hill where Bilambil Heights was. I had morning meetings most days and grandchildren over in Kingscliff and I lived alone and answered to no man.

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2006. I was in Sydney for some of the October. I can’t recall why. I was visiting my daughter. That I do know.  We took the JetCat across the Harbour to Manly.   I like being on the water. I was hoping to go out on the River here but the Water Rat washed out to sea in the 2009 floods. Sometimes, sometimes – there’s not so much to do.

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2007. I was living between Brisbane  and Bilambil. I knew next to nothing of Brisbane so I wasn’t bored there. I was EXPLORING.
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2008: Well – maybe I haven’t been bored as long or as often as I think. 2008,I used to lunch at ILNAM ESTATE WINERY up in CAROOL on the TWEED. It is truly a beautiful place.
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2009: Living in Ulmarra and not at all bored. My sister and I were reconciled. I turned 60. My daughter was pregnant for the first time. My Mob visited often. Good times indeed.
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2010 : Torpor. Maybe its TORPOR. Maybe I am chocolate boxed out for the moment. The JACARANDA blooms – AGAIN. There is the Essential Alcoholic.  The sun is shining – AGAIN. The river is flowing – STILL FLOWING. October is here and the damned jacaranda is blooming – AGAIN.

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2011 – I do not even have a photograph. One long dreary day.

 

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One thought on “27 OCTOBER 2011 : STAYING PAST THE BOREDOM”

  1. I really liked this sentence and I know how it feels “Boredom is upon me with the thin membrane lying between me and the next breakthrough” – a great way to express it 🙂

    Lorraine

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