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NORTH BEACH POOL 13 DECEMBER 2010.
The year has one more month to go but on this rainy evening, I am sitting on the eBENCH doing some thinking about how the Challenge has changed and is changing me. When it started, I was a little shocked at the inanity of the daily topics. I gave them a try for a while and then let them alone. When it started, I was easily intimidated by the opinions of other bloggers and tried to adjust my posts somewhat to suit my perceived concepts of the readers. I gave that a try for a while and then left it alone as well.
I still don’t flow easily and I still hesitate and get tangled in words and thoughts but the feedback coming now and the people I am encountering are increasingly more to my taste. It hasn’t been the happiest nor the easiest of the years I have known. Nonetheless, its been a powerful eleven months. By the time the Challenge of POSTADAY2011 started, my only sister was very progressed in the wretched disease which killed her in the February. I was in a Cottage where I had been living for slightly less than a year in the town which has been home on and off for many years. Maybe it had always been Home but I wasn’t always living here. I came back this time to a baby granddaughter, the daughter of my daughter but the other things I had known here were gone. My parents. My work as the local schoolteacher. My sister and her family and the family home.They were all gone.
I came back in a relationship which was only a couple of years in existence and my state of singleness was gone. My son and his family were living up in the mountains. Just a month back they went far South, 1000kms away.
Its been a year of wanting to help the people in my life who are dear to me and of knowing no way to do that.
Writing daily anchored me somehows and prevented my being washed out to sea the way so many things were during the Flood of 2009.
The biggest single wonder of 2011 for me has been the waking from the Dreaming of the World around me. I was VERY accustomed to being thought a whinger and probably a bit of a nut. I truly thought that the World would go on, accepting the abominations it was being fed and everyone would keep smiling and saying – “ We should be grateful for what we have “. Keep saying, like so many abused people, “ That’s OK. “
With November on me and the rains falling this year as they did when they robbed us of Summer last year, my own personal life, with the exception of the almost daily presence of the 2 Girls, is still causing me a lot of distress and sadness but the bigger picture has the scent of something Wonderful.
The FACEBOOK world is another 21st Century Wonder to me with its varied friendships and confrontations as well as the intimacy of global encounters as is the ability to blog.
NOT O.K. NOT O.K. AT ALL.
THE FORMATIVE WONDERS OF 2011.ON THE 13th DAY OF EACH MONTH.