Christina and Lizzy Bell


Tip No 11 : Don’t be afraid of what people think.



From the flooding rains and cold weather in one day to 30 degrees C heat and sunshine all day. I was intending to take a FAMILY photo each day. That’s what I usually do as a matter of course. Now today with FAMILY as the Photo Challenge Topic for the Week – some evil sprite caused me to forget to do so.

I rather thought Altucher was going to hit some tricky places within me and Tip No 11 is doing just that.  I know I write with certain people in mind. Not wanting to hurt, antagonise, earn the disdain of, look silly in front of or get hurt by. Altucher suggests :

for the next ten things you write, tell people something that nobody knows about you.

Could be interesting. An integral part of the way I live is talking at depth in front of people several times a week and I’m not sure what things there are about me that someone doesn’t know. Ah well, I am going on the image hunt and see what gets triggered. 

Most people know I am an anarchistic, recovered addict/alcoholic , grandmother, Hep C, low plateleted, enlarged heart Libran. Grandmother and Mother who is delighted with her family. A rural Australian. East Coaster. 62 years old. With long grey hair.  Schoolteacher.  What else ?

Well lets look back over the last 10 days and see.



I am very ritualistic. A touch OCD perhaps.Once my son fell off the monkey bars and broke his arm. I HATE seeing my kids hurt. IN any way. Physically, mentally, emotionally. No apologies for that either.

I wish I could keep the kids and their kids close by and safe and happy.

I LOVE seeing people truly , legitimately happy.

When I was about 12, I sat on a swing and realised that I was beginning to look a little foolish in a children’s playground – swinging – and that the swinging days were just about over. 

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My kids had truly lousy early childhoods. Like REALLY lousy. Lousy enough that I walked away and left them for a year or two rather than have them live with active addiction and violence anymore.
I am almighty proud of getting clean and raising them as a single mother and I am almighty impressed with the people they have become.
And I am truly, deeply happy that they have their beautiful little girls and make such fine parents.
I consider myself one very fortunate woman.
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I am not a big TOUCHER. Especially of animals. Not a horse patter, or a cat patter, or a cow milker or anything. I am not even very brilliant at touching other people.
I am cautious about going close to animals. I enjoy watching the cattle pass by but – I guess I must be afraid of them. I’m not quite sure.
I like life through a camera lens. Have done so since I was a little girl with a box brownie. But I am not much of a Toucher.
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I struggle within relationship. A lot. Izzy and I have been together for 4 years or so but I had a lot of years without a man dwelling with me and now I struggle.
I struggle with liking myself as a related person. I wake up talking and theorising and I don’t think I am restful.
I feel sometimes like a caged animal, very afraid of the ‘ black abysses which yawn ready to swallow me.’
Probably  fortunate that he is who he is.
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I like swimming almost more than I like anything. I come from a swimming family. I hate all the sunscreens and tons of clothes kids have to wear these days. I can’t think of anything people don’t know about me on this topic. Give me a moment.
I consider non-swimmers as aliens. And likewise distance swimmers. I just like being in the water – and I don’t much like dolphin people. Same as Cat people. Well, I like some of the people but – they’re aliens. I like flathead.
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I really dislike coffee. That’s not an unknown either. I like drinking ginger in an infuser in boiled water with a straw. I did get turmeric mixed up with ginger recently. I liked that as well.
I love my niece’s ceramic work. I don ‘t suppose  that’s unknown either.
Sometimes, mornings yawn before me like the abysses. Sometimes, I don’t even want to chew the bagel or swallow the white tea.
Maybe  – the unknown is that something in my life is a little askew and I don’t quite know what it is – yet.
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I have one favourite game. AGE OF EMPIRES III. I can’t make it work on my laptop which is a buggar because it remains the one game I really like.
There are things about living with Izzy which suit me very well and they include his fondness for the critters and the care he takes of them while I am wondering how to get AGE OF EMPIRES III working.
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I remain homeless even here in the Cottage. Afraid of the future. Sick of handing over mega quantities of money for housing which might or might not be mine in a year from now.  Places where I never quite unpack.
I am fully over the serious consequences of making small financial mistakes.
I really HATE the Intervention in Australia. And I am shattered by what alcoholic drinking and drug addiction do to people.

Back to the Cats. I’m no cat person. I miss Odin our Staffordhsire Terrier even though it’s a long time ago.
Whilst I am not a cat person I don’t want to end up living in the sort of place where people can’t have cats – and birds – and kids and things.
I don’t like modern buildings. Don’t like airconditioning.

Inside, I am one very angry woman for the Hard Times that so many of us have. I am much happier at the moment than I have been for a very long time because suddenly – a whole lot of people all around the world  are standing up and saying the same thing. One friend of mine from up North breathed a sigh of relief and   said one word – VALIDATED.



And in the end. Validated and Tired.

No apologies.

Not open for constructive criticism.

Nor any helpful hints.

Validated and Tired.