I feel as if I have been lost in the wilderness for a goodly while in trying to keep up with weekly challenges etc when all I wanted to do was sit down on an eBENCH and YAAN with you.
That, then , is what I am now doing. I have just been on a 2600km road trip – and I saw some fine benches along the way.
|Sitting at our familiar Urunga Bakery Bench.||A Bench in Nabiac as we travelled South.|
|A BENCH IN MILTON||STILL IN MILTON|
|SHADRACK’S||AT THE CABIN|
|BENCH IN EDEN||AT THE EDEN MUSIC SHOP|
NOW THAT THE WEATHER IS WARMING UP.
THE YAAN : I am seriously thinking that its time to opt out of all the challenges I have been involved in for the last year or two. I have truly lost the feeling sitting on the eBENCH and enjoying myself. Each week I am caught up in directed plans and posts and I think they may have served their purpose for now. I shall sit myself down on the eBENCH and do some more Yaaning and some more pondering. I had my 2nd swim of the season today. Come on Summertime.
THE YAAN : I’m going to take a look for pictures of the truly everyday things of my life. Things like stoves and toilet paper and cars and shops. I love seeing the ordinary things of other places. Here are some of mine.
|A FENCE||A FIRE ENGINE|
|SOME FIREMEN||A SKATE PARK|
|A CAFE||A SIGN OUTSIDE A PUB|
|A FAMILY||A STOVE|
THE YAAN : This time I’m going to actually do some thinking . I haven’t been thinking much of late. For a Placeholder for the Weekly Photo Challenge : FREE SPIRIT, (until I find the over-exposed shot)I’m going to use the Loo at my daughter’s place. It’s a very fine place for a Free Spirit to sit awhile and think whilst looking out over the valley and the forest.
LETTING IN A LITTLE MORE LIGHT.
These are the things I see from my front windows. Nothing can chain that spirit to the ground.
AND AROUND THE WORLD
THE YAAN: Back to the life that makes me well. Me and Jack both. Jack almost took his eye out on a wire fence a couple of months back but has come good and is pushy and flighty again. He almost took the Cheery Redhead’s hand when she offered him some food. My girl did her first day at a school.Towards her Education degree. And we minded the little girl. Then I did my Meeting in town. In a moment, bean and vegie soup. The retrieval of sanity.
THE YAAN: Sunsetting at 5.06 p.m. Blue at the edge of the sky and pink above it. Well, I did it. Drove to Coffs. Kept appointments. Drove home. I didn’t have one dizzy turn despite the blurred vision at times. I went to radiology for my hand and the young lady doing the ultrasound was a girl I had taught when she was an infant. That was a pleasure.
I was so afraid to take myself out especially to medical places but I actually enjoyed it. Not the Haemotology Department so much. I am doing better a few hours later. I needed to come home and take some quiet time. When I am in the medical rooms, Fear takes over and my thinking becomes overwhelmed by the volume and nature of information they present to me.
I thought that grief and illness and such things would follow predictable patterns but I have learned in the last decade that there is very little predictability in any of them. The supposedly closest people can rip one another apart or fail to comfort or support. The simplest matters can become the most difficult or traumatic and, for me, completely unexpected side effects strike like a rogue wave on a rock fisherman.
That’s when I find myself unable to drive. Unable to choose the food I want for dinner. My skin is welted and wild from being dragged over psychological barnacles. My mind churns and bubbles trying to find a way to help my kids but I malfunction. Can’t think clearly. I am a Mess. But I did drive to Coffs and back. Bravo to Me.
THE YAAN : And tonight, I have a heater on. Plenty of doonahs and a warm bed. A safe and quiet house. I have internet and lights and TV. Not bad at all. I have had an email from my granddaughter and tomorrow I am to mind the 2 year old while her Mum does a student teacher gig at the local school where I once taught. I have history and I have the present. Plus, I got myself out and about.
THE YAAN: Winter Solstice today. The mists are rising from the bottom paddocks and its just a little chilly. Now begins the strange annual experience of days becoming longer again but colder. Seems like a band slightly out of time to me. I’ve not, so far, fought and kicked against the Winter. Most often, I do. This year, I have almost enjoyed it. Today, I have a challenge. Only a couple of years back it would have been no challenge at all but something’s gone amiss with me and today looks intimidating.
Not long back, I drove where I pleased – fearlessly. Now I am timid about driving the few kilometres into Coffs Harbour. Not long back, I cruised the Gold Coast and took good care of My Self. Now, I am uneasy to be taking myself to an ultrasound and a haematologist. I have a daughter who is precious and generally takes me to these places but today she is seeing her father who had a diagnosis of liver failure and has come down the Mountain to look for a place to live where its not so cold and where he has family around him.
I live with a man who WORKS. He takes me many places but he WORKS. My very lips curl with the disdain I feel for the Working World. Particularly the “Do-Gooder” “Industries”.
As for me, Courage, ma brave. What has happened to me to make me so timid and fearful?
HHYesterday. I was in the WEAVE shop in Bellingen. We sit in there at times and the Cheery Redhead draws pictures and plays. Yesterday, they had a tower made of wood. A marble dropped in at the top then rolled the whole way down – musically. We did it over and over.
What we didn’t do, was to sit down on the Bench outside. It’s a good home made bench. Wooden. Fairly low with a good view into the windows of the WEAVE SHOP. On the 2nd WEAVE Bench was a basket of organic oranges and beside it was the moon planting calendar. That’s our main street – HYDE STREET.
The other day we were in Coffs Harbour and there was a little park beside the Clinic I was visiting. It had some random benches as well as the concrete variety just behind me in the Photo. I didn’t sit down there. The wee park has that slight grubbiness that causes me to take a second look at anything I am about to sit on.
That’s a café at the top end of HYDE STREET. It once was a nighttime pizza place but is now opening for daytime eating. Magazines and benches and good cheap food.
Cheery Redhead likes it. She’s been doing cafes and benches with me since she was born.
We are the BenchMasters.
C.C. takes time out nowadays to glance through a good magazine while I ‘m yaaning.