Tag Archives: postaday2011

ON THE BENCH : THE OLD BELLLINGEN LIBRARY.

004

With the new Church Streetscape on my mind, I wandered down Hyde Street the other day and came upon the bench where the old Library was. This is what I call A BENCH. REST A WHILE – it says clearly. REST A WHILE.

I didn’t sit there this week but I have often done so. I did take a seat outside the Bellingen Museum. Sat there with a couple of Urunga men and talked about Old Times. Then I headed up into Church Street and took a look at the new streetscape. Some of it I like and some of it I don’t like.

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4 AUGUST 2011 : ESTAP: BROKEN DAY NO 4

http://www.thefreedictionary.com/broken

4.

a. Incomplete: a broken set of books.

b. Being in a state of disarray; disordered: troops fleeing in broken ranks.

EYES 3 The Australian Women's Weekly (1932 - 1982), Wednesday 22 October 1975,

http://nla.gov.au/nla.news-article55186338

(1975, October 22). The Australian Women’s Weekly

EYES 2 The Australian Women's Weekly (1932 - 1982), Wednesday 22 October 1975,

 

in a state of disarray

THE YAAN.

The yaan is almost always in a state of disarray. Broken lines of thought. Free ranging ideas and lost threads. I came across these illustrations from the AUSTRALIAN WOMENS WEEKLY this morning and I have used them for two major reasons. One reason is that they evoke the era in which I was growing up and learning to draw. I was in my 20s when this edition came out and the Eyes featured greatly in makeup and allure. The 2nd reason for using them is to do with the state of disarray.  I seem to have eyes all over the place most of the time and a good deal of difficulty in drawing conclusions or correlating data.

Just about the best thing in reaching my 7th decade of earthly life is NOT ANSWERING TO ANYONE ANYMORE. I do not have to correlate . I do not have to draw conclusions. I can sit here on my eBENCH and say or do whatsoever I please, whensoever I please.

And I can Yaan. About this and about that. Or about nothing at all. Broken and incomplete – and not very urgent about it.

My family feels a bit broken at the moment with one MOB moving 1000kms away. Could be that stronger threads hold us together than I can see, just at the moment.

The Red Chook is on my brekkie table. She is as cheeky as. Same as the Black Hen and Scrubby. The three of them being all that is left after the foxes, makes a new and rather odd flock. Guess that’s what breaking does. Terminates one thing and what remains forms into something different.  Disarray into Array. Incomplete into a new Completion.

The http://www.thefreedictionary.com/confused includes the state of disarray and the broken ranks in its definition of confusion.

We had that when the grandmother and the baby collided and in doing so broke bones. As well as the snapped skeleton there was the disarray of the normal ‘troops’.

Who was to take on what role ?

Where was everybody?

What needed to be done?

Who had what abilities for the new situation ?

What new needs had arisen from the Breaking ?

It was a state of disarray.

KEY POINTS ABOUT ‘BROKEN’ FOR ME SO FAR.

  • When something breaks – more than that thing is broken.
  • When something is broken – it does not simply disappear – it comes into a new form.
  • Following the Breaking and preceding the new form is confusion in various forms.
  • The thing that forms after a break might be better or worse –whatever – but one thing is for sure – it will be DIFFERENT from what went before.

 

ACTIVE MEDITATION

Why Active Meditation?
– by Maneesha James
We may understand the need to minimize stress and to unwind…But to sit down for twenty minutes, to close our eyes and attempt to still our incessant thoughts…and restless body…

“At times in meditation it seems that something within has snapped, and this experience is frightening.
     It is possible, it is absolutely possible.
     Fear is unnecessary, although it is natural that you feel afraid.
It creates a lot of heat, as well.
     That, too, is possible. It is possible because your whole inner mechanism undergoes a change. All your connections with the body begin to get loose, and new connections begin to form in their places. Old bridges are broken and new ones are formed. Old doors close and new ones open. So the whole house is being altered. That is why you think that many things within you are breaking down, and then you feel scared. It is natural, because the whole system goes through a state of disarray and disorder. It happens in times of transition.
     When a new order arises out of this chaos it will be altogether different from the old; it will be incomparably unique. Then you will forget that some thing like an old order ever existed. And even when you remember it you will wonder how on earth you could put up with it.
     All this is possible.”

Even in footie, the state of disarray and the fractures appear.

With the Tigers in a state of disarray as internal fractures cruel their 2011 campaign, the Cowboys can make it eight straight at home.

And in Death. 

http://www.lenrussellfunerals.com.au/pre-planning.htm

Despite its inevitability, death is part and parcel of life. It makes us fearful and uncomfortable about the unknown. Through the fear of our own death, we do not wish to confront it in others. The loss of one of our closest loved ones can be very real and very immediate and can often leave us in a state of disbelief and disarray.
Consequently when death occurs many people are unprepared for the decisions and arrangements that must be made.

1 AUGUST 2011 : ESTAP : BROKEN: DAY 1

BROKEN.

http://www.thefreedictionary.com/broken

010

Its Monday morning here in Australia. Monday morning and the first day of  new month. This week’s photo challenge is BROKEN and I am going to see what happens if we do our Yaaning on the Photo Challenge Topics.

Sit down awhile and I shall take a look through my images and see what’s been broken in this last little while.

I was out on the Highway a couple of weeks back when I caught sight of a car on the median strip and another blocking the Southbound lanes. A young woman was driving one of the cars and 2 gents the other. It was a lucky accident in its own way with noone hurt too bad and neither car totally trashed. They were, however, BROKEN.  Dented and damaged and the people’s travel plans were ruined as well as their nerves.

The PACIFIC HIGHWAY is not a road I am able to be fond of or proud of. I will put some links up about it and I think it could well be described as a Broken Road.

http://www.ozroads.com.au/NSW/RouteNumbering/National%20Routes/1/pacifc.htm

OZROADS

RTA UPGRADES

URUNGA PACIFIC HIGHWAY WORKS BEGIN

070

http://www.thefreedictionary.com/broken

1. Forcibly separated into two or more pieces; fractured: a broken arm; broken glass.

The Old Dog from next door is a wee bit broken down. His legs are arthritic and twisted and  he can no longer chase off the foxes. I have taken a look at the Free Dictionary Online and there are a good few dimensions to Brokenness listed there.

The first one is “Forcibly separated into two or more pieces.”

025

Cairns Post (Qld. : 1909 – 1954), Tuesday 21 February 1933.

http://nla.gov.au/nla.news-article41176308

broken Cairns Post (Qld. 1909 - 1954), Tuesday 21 February 1933,

Some of us are mugs-just bought

and sold.

Some of us are broke-ah, that’s a

fact;

Some of us are not broke-only

cracked.

2. Sundered by divorce, separation, or desertion of a parent or parents

1 AUGUST 2011 : COUNTING DOWN TO SPRINGTIME.

Morning. All. `

Let’s start the month off with a wee roundup of things. Leo is at the front fence. He stands there most mornings and the pair of us have a good think about things. August is a month which usually holds a majorly significant event of some kind for me. That has ranged, over the years, from marriage, my mother’s death and  getting clean to house moves. I would not mind at all if this August is a quiet low key one because most of these events have been preceded by suffering and distress. 

This August already holds a couple of  doctors’ appointments and plans for the MOB to move 1000kms away from me. A week or two and I will be 24 years clean. That seems to be the predictive lineup for the moment.

As for today, its chilly but sunny and clear. It’s a working and school day which gives me a good chance of having the property to myself. I live with a musician and he’s off to rehearsals in Coffs Harbour.

I shall take a look around the blogs at the PHOTO CHALLENGE for this week. I think the topic is BROKEN. If so, I shall be putting a pic of my own face up to see whether the broken places show. The hurts I haven’t absorbed as easily as I might have done. The shocks which smash into my persona like a sudden Ulmarra hailstorm. The searing grief pains corrosive fears. We shall see.

Yep. BROKEN is the photo challenge topic for the week.

168070_499469476341_547151341_6251269_2524254_n

 

Toys in the attic and some of them are broken and cannot be mended.

29 JULY 2011 : RELAXING : HORSES IN THE YARD

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Its Saturday. A Saturday with the Lurking Nergle. That means paracetamol and hot ginger and turmeric drink as well as a day at home. The horses have been put into our yard thereby saving us from some of the mowing. I have reached a more relaxed state than I was in.

I am feeling even more comfortable with the arrival of my electricity bill. We were told costs would be SOARING and they kind of are but the comfort that leads to my relaxing is contained in the cheerful newsletter they sent out with the Bill.

The Newsletter is called OUTLOOK. They also sent a sticker for the door which says :

“ DO NOT KNOCK. NO SALESPEOPLE, THANK YOU. “

My  favourite page is the One Minute Moving manual.  I tell you, I don’t mind paying more for my electricity if it means I get the Outlook Newsletter with such handy hints as :

      1. Book a removalist.
      2. redirect your mail
      3. save newspapers to wrap, pad and save your breakables
      4. leave important items with family or friends
      5. and connect gas and electricity at your new place.

Gee thanks ORIGIN ENERGY. And the cost of designing, producing and delivering the cheery newsletter to each house is ???????????

28 JULY 2011: GIVE ME TILL THE MORNING

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I wonder what my star patterns are this year. Lets check ASTRODIENST which gives some rather insightful Thursday comments.  I really need to change the way I am handling things this year. My life is again looking like the next verse of a country and western song. Give me till the Morning and I shall see how I am looking at things then. In the meantime – ASTRODIENST = its free Thursday.

Hmmm.

http://www.astro.com/

Weighty concerns

Valid during many months: At this time your avenues of communication with others are stabilized and solidified. Also you will probably create a set of fully formulated goals and expectations for the next several years. Therefore it is very important to take this time very seriously and be very aware of what you are doing, because the patterns that you establish now will be very hard to alter and will determine the success or failure of your relationships over the next several years.

It is very important to learn other people’s views of you as a human being and as a member of society. But this does not mean you should take everyone’s words at face value and deny all your own beliefs. You may have an exaggerated respect for someone else’s views and give them more credence than they are worth. You should simply talk to the people whom you personally respect and use what they say to help you come to conclusions about yourself. Older people may be especially helpful in this process.

Because of the weighty concerns that are occupying your mind at this point in your life, you will prefer serious work and the company of serious people. Of course, at times you will want to relax and enjoy yourself, but generally this is a period when discipline, organization and growth are your paramount concerns.

If you don’t handle this influence well, you will have considerable difficulty with your relationships in the years to come. And these difficulties will be the result of unfortunate patterns established now. The border between discipline and habit is often hard to distinguish, but that is precisely the difference that you have to keep in mind at this time. Habit is mindless and unconscious, whereas discipline is self- imposed and suited to achieving your goals.

Saturn Sextile Ascendant, ,
activity period from end of October 2010 until beginning of August 2011

Creative revolution

Valid during many months: This influence represents a period of massive changes, which you share with almost everyone of about the same age. Therefore the causes of these changes may be larger social forces that are outside of your personal sphere of life.

This combination of forces carries the symbolism of creative revolution; that is, you may be in revolt against many of the factors that have made your life routine and devoid of new challenge and interest. Many elements of your life will pass away suddenly and be gone with little or no warning, even elements that you have felt were a permanent part of your life. This can occur in just about any area of your life, but personal and professional relationships will be very strongly affected.

Your central problem during this time will be one of attitude. Obviously, the greater your psychological investment in having conditions remain exactly as they are now, the more you will suffer. The more flexible you are, the better off you will be. In fact, if you can look upon this influence as an opportunity to restructure your life creatively, you may be able to take considerable control of the process. If you fight these changes you will be a victim of them to some degree.

You have to understand that although these changes have emerged suddenly in your life, their origins are in the past, and the forces behind them have been at work for many years. And you must recognize that these forces are inherent in the way things have been! Preventing these changes is practically impossible and not even desirable.

You should learn to flow with the great changes that are happening to you now, and you should even make yourself an active agent in bringing them about. Throw away everything that has outlived its purpose in your life; seek changes in your relationships; find ways to make new starts in as many areas as possible. Above all, do not spend your time moping about and wishing for the “good old days.” That will only put you out of touch with the world and less and less able to live in it.

Pluto Opposition Uranus, ,
activity period from end of January 2010 until end of November 2011

A breath of fresh air
Valid during many months: Your life will now receive a breath of fresh air, probably because you find it easier to be true to yourself. Other people will be swept along by your vivacity if you don’t make the mistake of shutting them out of your present actions. True freedom and independence are not reflected by a stubborn attempt to go it alone, but rather by the joy of sharing personal experiences. A change of job might mean that you get to know fascinating people with unusual ideas or radically different ways of seeing things unlike anything you have ever come across. Talk to your partner about such experiences, otherwise he could easily feel left out. This unusually positive influence can also help you to breathe new life into any existing relationship – not so much by starting new activities, but by removing any long term tension within it.

Any new challenges at work could contain hidden opportunities. Don’t wait for someone to point these out, because this is unlikely to happen. Try instead to trust your intuition, and have the courage to take such fortunate opportunities by the horns. This will help you to grow more independent, which will enable you to make more of your own decisions at work. This is all the more likely if your work involves contributing something of significance to the wider society, or if it can help you to take you a step closer to your own ideals and visions.

Chiron Trine Uranus, ,
activity period from middle of April 2011 until end of December 2012

http://www.astro.com/

26 JULY 2011: RELAXING: GETTING DOWN TO THE POINT

If you suppress grief too much, it can well redouble.  Moliere

KINGFISHER courtesy JO TRUMAN

38370_414291658647_739393647_4309967_1602732_n

Go now to a good place, not an evil one; go to the road of the sunshine, not the road of the rains; go where there are neither mosquitoes nor march-flies, but where there are pigs in plenty and taro in plenty…and we shall make a feast in your honour, and payment to those who have mourned you. A man from Oro Province as quoted in F E Williams, Orokaiva Society.

http://australianmuseum.net.au/Mourning-Oro-Province-Papua-New-Guinea

 

THE LAST CANOE RIDE OF A MAORI QUEEN

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yellow2

 

Yaaning Time again.

It seems to be a tough year this year.  It IS a tough year. I think someplace inside I had allowed the opinions of others to slip in again and have placed invisible limits on my mourning and my grief. Me and Leo the horse are quietly in mourning out here during the days when the others are all away at school and work.

The second type of depression is more subtle and, in a sense, perhaps more private. It is our quiet preparation to separate and to bid  farewell.

I wear my pyjama pants a lot and play Scrabble online. I don’t seem able to function very well and life is a little muddled in my head. I feel useless and concerned for my nieces and nephew and daughter. I still see my sister’s strange little puzzled frown and the one tear falling and still feel the waiting for her next breath which didn’t come.

Its coming up for 6 months. I make myself the pledge right here and right now as I once did with my mother, to mourn just as long and just as deep as the mourning requires of me. I also accept whatever changes that might bring into my life. Pretending is of no use whatsoever.

Maybe today I shall call Bellingen Council and get some quotes on burial sites and plaques. I have my parent’s ashes here. 1/3 of them anyways and I fancy a spot on the Hill at Urunga, looking out to sea across the Lagoon.

I reclaim my own oddly formed Shabbos day and develop my own Mourning pattern. Rather, I let it develop me.

I am also watching old time daytime TV shows. In the aforementioned pyjamas.

And letting my heart ache for as long as it needs to and as much as it needs to.

Now to form my own Mourning.

http://www.indigenousaustralia.info/culture/mourning-ceremonies.html

A person’s possessions and weapon’s are often disposed of or buried with them during the ceremony. In some areas burial poles are erected at burial grounds or stencil markings and paintings would show where loved ones were buried in caves.Ceremonies last days, weeks and even months depending upon the beliefs of the language group. During these ceremonies often strict language rules apply. With close family members restricted to not being able to talk for the whole period of mourning.

http://www.jewfaq.org/death.htm

http://www.greekcare.org.au/advice-and-information/greek-culture-and-tradition/death-and-mourning/

The immediate family members of the deceased traditionally wear black clothing for at least forty days. During this time they do not participate in social occasions — parties or family celebrations — and they do not dance or listen to music. Many individuals choose to extend this period to one year or even longer, and in some cases, widows or widowers continue to wear black for the rest of their lives.

http://www.tchevalier.com/fallingangels/bckgrnd/mourning/

Pō Atarau
(Now is the Hour)
Pö atarau
(On a moonlit night)
E moea iho nei
(I see in a dream)
E haere ana
(You going away)
Koe ki pämamao
(To a distant land)
Haere rä
(Farewell),
Ka hoki mai anö
(But return again)
Ki i te tau
(To your loved one)
E tangi atu nei (Weeping here)

because Susan loved New Zealand.

Tangi a te ruru,
kei te hokihoki mai e
E whakawherowhero
i te putahitanga
Näku nei ra
koe i tuku haere
Tëra puritia iho
nui rawa te aroha e
Te Hokinga Mai,
tëna koutou
Tangi ana te ngäkau
i te aroha
Tü tonu ra te mana
te ihi o nga tipuna
kua wehea atu rä
Mauria mai te mauri tangata
hei oranga mo te mörehu
tangi mökai nei
E rapu ana i te ara tika
mo tätou katoa
Te Hokinga Mai,
Te Hokinga Mai
Tü tangata tonu !
The cry of the morepork
keeps coming back to me.
It is hooting out there
where the paths meet.
I was the one
who allowed you to go.
It was curbed,
my deep love for you
Te Hokinga Mai,
greetings
How my heart weeps
in (sorrowful) love.
Stand tall, the prestige
(and) the awe of the ancestors
who have passed on.
Bring back the true spirit of the people
to help heal the survivour
crying with loneliness (lit. like a captive)
(and) searching for the true path
for all. (This stanza sung twice)
Te Hokinga Mai!
Te Hokinga Mai!
Stand tall!

King James Bible
Blessed are they that mourn: for they shall be comforted.

http://austcemindex.com/cemetery.php?id=344

http://www.rookwoodjewishcemetery.com.au/page/mourning-customs

It is traditional to place a small stone on a grave. This act is like leaving a calling card. It is not intended to be a sign to the deceased person. A stone is simple and basic, a natural product of the earth, yet a symbol of eternity, representing our commitment to uphold the memory of the deceased.
Little stones may be found on the cemetery ground. The JCT provides stones which are stored on the porch of the cemetery office.
It is customary to wash the hands after leaving the graveside. This washing is an affirmation of life after involvement with death. JCT has facilities for washing on the porch of the cemetery office. Further taps are located in each section of the cemetery. See map.

http://janeaustensworld.wordpress.com/2009/05/16/regency-mourning/

http://griefismourningsickness.com/

Grief:
From the Old French grève, meaning heavy burden.

Mourning:
From the 9th century Old English murnan; was combined with “ing” in the 13th century; the act of sorrowing.

http://www.quotegarden.com/grief.html

Give sorrow words; the grief that does not speak whispers the o’er-fraught heart and bids it break.   William Shakespeare

http://www.cancer.gov/cancertopics/pdq/supportivecare/bereavement/Patient/page1

http://ezinearticles.com/?You-Need-to-Know-Why-Grief-and-Mourning-Are-Very,-Very-Different&id=592453

Accept the inescapable fact that grief is the ransom you pay for loving well. So tell others of your love and the pain of your loss. Remember that it is normal for those internal feelings to persist and there is nothing wrong with feeling the way you do for weeks, months or longer. Allow the process to naturally unfold and don’t try to cut it short.
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/592453

Eccl. 3:4. “[there is] a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance.

DSCF7612

I don’t wish to be helped out of this state. I don’t wish to ‘come good’. As someone who took an exit route from life too early and for too long, I know that the easier, softer ways don’t work for me. Travelling the Path of the Mourner WILL and IS working. It will lead me to a better place than any I have known before and I have known some very good places.

 

Sometimes, when one person is absent, the whole world seems depopulated

Allphonse de Lamartine